"Inspirational songs of my life" is a title that wirte basically to just describe songs of my life. Be it chinese or english songs, they are something thats hold the key to the different era of my life. Some songs allow want to feel crazy, perhaps just turn on into a very hyperactive mode, while there are also songs that at times, turn down the mood, allowing one to look back, at those memories.

For me, both english and chinese song struck me in my entire lifetime now, for instants, during my childhood time, during primary 5 & 6, I entered the music of the famous boyband, Westlife. Having many nice tunes from, "my love, I lay my love on you" etc.... These were the very first english songs that i had listened. Not to say, very popular at that point of time, so I was quite influenced under my friends at that time. Soon, I was being mesmerized, by not only the song but paying attention to the lyrics, every word of it. Perhaps, thats how I really got addicted to such lovely music. During at a point of time, it somehow brought me back to where I used to be so young and innocence, the period where I was living at the eastside, which I called it my second home. Those days, where i would visit the beach, cycle and even had some family gathering at the beach bungalow. During that time, Westlife were the music of my time and my very first songs of my life.

Soon, there were quite a huge popularity to chinese music, which occur during my secondary school life. I was firstly introduced to this group of 3, formed by 3 girls, they were know as S.H.E, back then they were not so high profilic group, however just by their first two albums, I was really drowning into the music. So there were also Jay Chou, Linkin Park and many more, I was really so into music that at times, they were somehow my friends, my companion and whenever i was down or happy, they would always play a significant role there. recalling back, I do not own a desktop like my other friends, thus I was looking around for CDs and saving money to play it on my radio. Although, I got my everything later then anyone, I still really miss those times, where I would go home, sitting down on my chair, listening to the beautiful musics.

I would like to say, there are no really favourite songs to me, as there are quite a couple to it, and really depending to which era of my life you are talking about. For primary school, well it's My Love by Westlife, which signify those fond memories of my younger days, friendship bond in fact. Secondary school time, there were quite a number, and most of them are chinese and most of them were emotional songs of my life, thinking back, there were both positive and negative thoughts back then. Right now, I'm with desktop, thus, I got more favourite songs, so I am more than contended.

Songs, music and lyrics, they are something that combine and blend well together, to form up into a formula, They are something that allow me to travel back to the particular era. A good song, allow one to really inmerse in it, drown to it, craved more for it or at times even caused one to feel so touched that the drop tears to show our appreciation. They play a huge role when one is down alone, they are like friends, there for you, cheering you up at times, and sometimes naughty at times, causing you cry for instant, thinking about past negative memories. But they are usually something for you to past time quickly.

I'm sitting alone, with my cup of hot tea. On the radio, pick up a random piece of CD to play, soon came by a music, closing my eyes slowly, I feel every single word ringing into my ears. Picked up the cup of hot tea, then I had a sip of it, placing it down slowly. I continued to be mesmerize by the song, A few minutes past, however, I instantly press the repeat button, wanting to listen it once again, never had I really felt bored listening it again, Soon, I started to think back, that one can never be young forever, cherishing it rather than losing it, I treasure my time even more now. However, not to be afraid, music is the key to my past, something that is so important, that I will never lose it. It is safely kept in my heart, not letting it slip away.

My next entry shall hold off for the moment, will be back soon again=)

"A childhood friend" someone, special, irreplacable. Knowing him near nine years, the longest in fact. One who understand me, one who I feel will always be there for me. A true friend who I know since primary school, From the worst, to the better. This little story here, shall be dedicated to him.

Known him since the age of eleven, we were in the same class. However, at first, we didn't really talk or really get together as a group, instead, he was with his friends, while I was too with my group of friends. It was like we were in the same class, but we seldom really talk, but normal classmates. Till the start of our final year in primary. I started to join his group, slowly got involve in their activities. Soon we share something common, which was called soccer and we started really into this sports. After schools, we would play soccer and often stayed back late in school. Not long, I found out they also would play soccer during weekends. But, at that time, my parents were quite strict, thus i wasn't able to really join them. Something until now, which I somehow regret, wished I could be there joining them. But never will it be able to happen.

Time really flies, as soon as you were enjoying great moments, without you even knowing. We were having our Primary School Leaving Examinations(PSLE). I remembered something very memorable, once we were play block catching, although it was lame, but we had nothing to do at that time, but quite fun though, But we were to noisy i guessed and affected the everyone living there. Thus they made a complain to or school cause they recongised our uniforms. Of all time, the rest went to buy drinks at the near-by shop, leaving the both of us behind looking after their bags and belongings. Then came by to teachers from our school, then they took down our names and tell us to leave home immediately. At that moment, we were just joking about it but somehow at the same time afraid they might call our parents. In the end nothing happened, but my chinese teacher sacasticly said that yesterday, there were two students caught not going home after school outside, but he never reveal who they are. Deep down, we knew that we were the two heroes.

Writing hundreds of lines, creating troubles together, those were the days. Soon we departed and went to separate secondary school. At first, thought that we won't contact each other anymore, until i realise that, he was quite a good friend to me at that moment, so decided to carry on to hang out with him. It started off when I first join them in their weekend soccer, then soon I was there every weekend. Thats how I really get to know him better. He thought me alot about soccer, even somehow protect me like a brother, taught me many things so as I won't get bully. At that time, he was like someone important to me, like a friend I couldn't afford to lose. A friend who I will look to when I had trouble.

During later years, around secondary three till now, we were soon going out often together. From pooling to clubbing. Everything, including how to woo girls, he was there for me to advice. He was much matured than me by then, or I was just beginning to get curious about everything. He became someone, whom I know form a easily hot tempered man, to amuch cool headed and quieter person. However, for me from a coward, I hatched out and became a even hyper active guy. I start to irritate him once in a while and sometimes he would be pissed. However I knew that, no matter how angry we were at each other, we never really get into each other face as he knew i was stubborn, while I understand that I do need to give in to him.

My childhood, best closest friend. Never really forgotten those days, from how I really knew you till now still in contact. There are many things that I can't write out to describe about you, but deep down I knew, regretting was the last thing in my mind. I never imagine that you were my best friend, but you knew me inside out, from my character to the way I behaves. My friend, brother, you were always there when needed, wonder in the next lifetime, will I still be able to talk so much to you, joke, cry, laugh. You are special and inspirational figure to me. Maybe when I'm gone first next time, I shall tell you that you were my best childhood friend, one and only, who stormed through almost everything with me. Hope that in this lifetime, we shall have as many time as possible for each other. By then you will be with your family and me too having a big gathering together.

My next entry titled"Inspirational songs of my life" will debut 16th Febuary 2009

"Shrek and princess fiona" our good "sister" and my best friend. One of the odd couple I ever met. No perhaps, a couple which I say, convinced me that their existence prove to me that this world still do have such thing as love. Firstly, don't get me wrong, shrek is a she and princess fiona is a he. Just to confirm, again, no errors, yes and it's true. But why, well continue reading and you will understand so.

He was my good near four years friend, who met this lady at downtown street two years back, walking from distance of five metre away, then till now, hugging and telling to each other I will never let you go. Quiet, soft spoken and gentle was the best to describe him, thus he shall be princess fiona. He was someone whom I knew who doesn't say much, jokes among us, easy going and most importantly a good-looking, studying boy look. That's also the reason why, he often easily taken advantage of by others. I don't really know him deep down, but we crack jokes like nobody's business. He was a normal boy, who plays basketball with that big baggy jersey and there he goes flying in the air like jordan. Someone who is there to share good things with and he never fails me by telling me the lastest psp games out, and the best place to go when you feel hungry which really impress me, the Singapore food map.

She, his beloved, was always there for him like 7-eleven, 24/7. With a very noisy, out straight character and daring personality. She will never fail to make him feel fearful and worry of her any moment of the time. There she is, I present to you, shrek. We seriously, never expect this two to honestly get along so well, like I say, one heaven, another hell. But somehow, this combination, works and with God's blessings, these two couple made it so well that every single one one us, just shut up and kept quiet. She never fails to protect him, which is something strange here. Shouldn't he be protecting her? Well there it goes again, she's like a mighty protector shrek who will risk it all to protect princess fiona. Something that she earn my respect, being a strong woman and at the same time protecting my good friend of mine.

They both do what normal couples would never do. She start the move by joining us and him with our first outing. We thought that would be once in a while, and well, guess, it became a weekly routine, she became part of our group, cool the first female member. A move which I say smart, she get to be with him and in the end she benefit by being part of us. Soon, she was there always like a friend, sister. She and him usually spend their times going to find nice goodies to eat, then after trying out, they would introduced us to that different places which served good food. Sometimes I still wonder, no matter how much they comsumed, they somehow do get plump, but not to the extend fat, or they don't look fat at all simple.

They tour around the whole of Singapore, shopping and walking around, like normal couples calculating here and there makes me so jealous. How I wish I sometime could be like them, however, I don't think I stand a chance. They are both person, who generally became part of my friends. Good friend who were there to cheer me up, talk to and joke with. They may quarrel often in the past, but they are still as strong as steel, never fail to stand united again. Well not many people understand this, they both had achieved by doing so. He was the guy that I knew, who never spoke to me much about his personal life, but I know deep down, everyone got their problems but to us he was that good guy who will be thinking alot and to be someone useful in life in near future. Someone who had long term goal set ahead.

I just wished to see that the following years ahead, seeing you both will be like a routine time. Maybe till old, we will be sitting down the coffee club, gathering as a group, each with their own family and talk about those happy days. I strongly believe that you two are the reason to motivate others to give relationship a chance and that even me have to start waking up, and settle down soon, cause I said last year, I will never be a burden to each and every single one of you. Lastly, I knew you for about four years, considered it long, no matter what it shall be that way and friends are meant to be there for each other. Shrek please take good care of my friend, we can see that you are the gem of his life, losing you will be meaningless to him to live, last long and I want to see you both get married as I will await patiently for both of you invitation card. You both seriously were part of my wonderful memories in my life. Being together, in this life time, was never easy or lucky, it's just that you both were predestined to look out for each other, till death do you part.

My next entry titled"A childhood friend"will debut 2th Febuary.

"He, him, and most importantly his story" is personally dedicated from me to him. He most importantly knew him nearing seven years this year. A friend, special yet never failing to be there whenever needed by me. I do not regard myself highly important to him, but I will do the least I can as a very good friend whenever needed. Till now, I understands him, but will fail to really knows how he think, which is something that no one would ever attained.

Straight forward, socialable and brave thats him. If ever anyone, anything, that cause him to feel uncomfortable or dislike, he would just declare it straight, no hidding nor back remarks. Something which is his strong yet weak point. It's good that each have his unique personality, however, to some it would be hurtful at times. But I accepted him as a friend and to me thats never a big problem but a way of communication I say. Friends, I doubt that he lack of that, he got many groups of good friends and being socialable thus, allow him to conversate easily with anyone in his surrounding environment. Which is simply why, he is never alone, lighting up his simple life with more joy. Brave, sadly to say, losing a father during secondary two, was something that none ever would want. But sometimes, things just don't suits our way. Everyone, when alone, thinking back, those were the good days, with your father, showering his great love on you. Shedding of tears drops, each carrying the word missed. It's never easy to walk alone, more over, the intense pain that echo hardly in your vulnerable heart.

With us he was the happy guy we knew, smiling and brought joy to our lives, sometimes I do regret and asked myself at times, have we really done so by bringing joy to his life and neglected him at times. Once, I was at the beach, with him, During December 2006, he was then drunked, he started crying, looking at the dark sky, merely many stars, I remembered very clearly till now, he pointed and shouted,"Daddy, where are you? I missed you badly you know?" Then pouring of heavy tears began, then he said why other can happily talk about their family, and have a father who love them, He also wish he could join us and say how great his father was. I felt helpless, speechless and begin to drop a few tears. He told me, he fear and really contantly do not want to lose his mother too, however his mother do not understand this, and at times blames him for being selfish going out with friends and even said that he caused his dad's death. A nail so sharp enough to kill him, was hit directly at him. I really feel so sorry, as I will never understand how he feels, the pain he had losing a father and the miscommunication between his mother.

Almost all occassion, he never failes to get drunk, and spilling out the deep truth within him. Thats when I really found the real him. Not happy at all but having pestered by tons of worries. I wished I could really helped, but I knew I was never near there. Recently, he was very fustrated over his mother, over something that I shall not say, but during his birthday this year, he cried over it again, we everyone knew what happened, he was just worried about his mother thats all. You were right when you told me off, you don't know anything, so don't say, yes i will never know. Regretted being stubborn and went head to head with you. Thats why, I always say to myself, I really fail being a good friend for you and never done my part.

Now, success in his studies and most importantly, he have a very stong passion for singing. In fact, growing within him is the root of music, a born with powerful vocals that allow him to sing at high pitch. He is currently learning at a music school, and improving as the days flies. I am really proud to even tell my friends that he is my friend right there singing, although he failed at some singing competitions, but that makes him stronger and better. I know that saying will not change the fact, but i will say, he would had won is all because of unfair in the voting we lead him to defeat which I really hated to admit that it was the end results. Nevermind, I believed, he will continue his loved for music and move on to greater heights ahead. Most imortantly, he broke the curse, a curse between Me, him and another best friend. He got a girlfriend, I believed that will look after him, loved him and most importantly be an understanding partner to him. At least for now, I have no worries that he is alone and i really wish him all the best in his relationship.

Lastly, he was someone that I never regretted knowing, a friend, an elder brother at times, whom I shared tears and joys with. Someone who I knew that will quarrel with me, makes me angry, pissed off and smiles at the end. But most importantly, makes me happy for my majority part of my life. What can I ask for more, god gave me someone, who was fated I will know him during this lifetime as my very good friend, and there is no way I'm gonna shake him off. How long can one live, once in a lifetime. Listen to me, your dad always loves you and your mother too, give her time, afterall she is your closest kin. Be happy, enjoy what you got now. I'm sorry for being stubborn headed always, failed as a friend, but no matter what I will just be there, a listener, a punching bag, and a quarreling partner there to lighten up your day. Once I know you, I knew that we are the friends in this lifetime.

My next entry is titled"Shrek and princess fiona"will debut next Monday 19th January.

"My childhood" a special title that represents me. It's something special to me even twenty years down the road. Something that i describe as a wonderful memory of my life. It seems just like yesterday as I'm writing here, flashes of pictures started to form like puzzles, thinking back now, I never regretted living in this world afterall.

I shall begin when I was at the youngest, lets say around five year old, where I got a blur memories to it, but thats when my memories cell started to grow. During at that age, toys were there for me so I considered myself fortunate and blessed afterall. As I was the youngest in my family, I was the most loved and most attention on child. So I grew up as a spoiled child as i got everything wish. Its like I want, means I want. That simple and demanding, however as far I can remember, I remember having my wonderful kindergarden years, not academically well, but just moderate. As my memories move on ahead, came by my primary school life.

During my first ever primary school life, I remembered my first time ever stepping in to a very big campus, to me was full of fear and panic. Being a total strager to such a new environment, was not easy to adapt as first. At that time of the first week, I still even saw some of my other classmates crying. Luckily for me, I'm strong enough, so I didn't cried. My parents were there for me everytime during my lunch break, and everytime I see them, I felt so safe and secured. But it was only soon that i began to realise that my parents could only be there for the first week, so as we could slowly adapt to the changes. Indepenent afterall played an important part.

Followed on came by my mid part of my primary school life. I dare not say I'm a grown up child, but a just still progressing child. I've got this weild character that I got. I like to bully the girls in my class and worse of all, I made them cry. Then I ended up for the minor cases, the parents of the girls came to school and look for my teacher-in-charge. In the end I got my punishment, however, I never learn my mistakes and even continue to craete more troubles. Soon, I ended up in the school's principal office. From then I got a very stern warning from the principal, thus from then on, I stop irritating the rest of the class not really being a good boy, but just quieter only.

During my final two years in primary school, I can say, I learn well, played well, most of all started to mature from there. I didn't really made it to the top classes of the school, but contented to be in the mid stream. As I knew very well myself, I didn't study hard enough. But that class of batch year 2000 primary five was the best class i had during my primary school life. Joys and tears were spend for that short period of two years, I'm truly proud of being part of the big family. My class firstly got a former discipline master as my mother tongue teacher and the worse, the current school discipline mistress as my form teacher. But although others may think it's the misfortune of all, I still think that I do really enjoy alot. Staying back after school to play soccer with my classmates, around three plus then go home, those were the days. Usually my class punishment for not finishing homework would be writing lines and I was champion for that accumulating a record of one hundred and eighty four times. At the same year, I also i won a few gold and medal during my sport day for the first time.

I would also go to the east side where my elder sister live, and ever since then, I got a strong bonding tied to that place, where i would ride the bicycle down the beach with my othe nephews and play nitendo gameboy. There would be a place where i spend most during my final year of my childhood years. Cause one of the biggest family chalet was also held there the Pasir Ris beach in fact twice. There I really enjoy the happiest days of my childhood. Soon the saddest part of my life was the move on from primary school life to secondary life. It was the parting of everyone in my class and I knew most probably everyone will see each other again. I was extremely down at that moment, just really felt lost and could not understand why one must grow up and face all these. Till now only two of my classmates I have still kept in touch. One of them is my best friend even till now, while another may not contact as much, but try to keep in touch. Anyway hope that my primary school friends will catch this, I hope that we could gather altogether once again, it's been eight years since all of us gather together.

My next entry is titled "He, him and most importantly his story" will debut next Monday 12th January.

"New year, new hopes, new dreams" is my next entry before the new year. Last entry for 2008. While I move on and welcome the exciting 2009, at the same time I reflect back on this year. Well quite an exciting year for me, however, I don't really feel that it was really a good year.

This is because, I was enlisted and must under go a two years confinement period, not I choose to, but a must as a citizen here. Currently six months plus in the service. Not enjoying in fact, but got to know many different faces who are in the same boat as me, all waiting to serve and go. My first day of enlistment, was in fact the worse not only this year, but my entire life. The waiting till the actual day falls. I really tried all my ways to enjoy as much as I could during my remaining days. Friends were always there for me, appreciated and thats when you find them important. On actual day, never really slept well, got up very early. Family send me off to an unknown island, where there will be my basic military trainings take place. One of my best girl friends, came by and bid me farewell, even brought me a cheese cake, was so touched. In the end, I left them reluctantly and was welcome by the new, unfamilar environment.

I never really experience living outside alone, and really fear how am I even able to cope with life at there. First night, calling home back, for the very first time was so unusual. It was like I really start to miss home and everything there. Talking to your family makes you feel like crying, but I hold back my tears bravely. Now it's like been more than six months in my national service life. Already used to it in fact and counting down to the last day of service. Another good thing this year was night cycling, which was first time done in this years, and I done it so far twice only.

During the late night, while everyone were asleep and doing other night activities, me and my group of friends will gather at east coast park. From there, we would rent bicycle and cycle all the way to pasir ris and return only on the next day in the early morning. Before heading off, we would settle dinner first and get enough water for the whole journey. Then we would start off and chat during the whole journey to ensure that we do not feel bored. we would roughly spend around 3 hours plus to just reached changi village. Upon reaching there, we would enjoy a good, well deserved supper there. The famous nasi lemak, thnk of it now, I suddenly got the strong cravings for it.

Then we would make our way to my sister's place located at pasir ris. On our way there, we would past by the famous loyang tua beh kong temple and without fail, will stop by there to make our prayers and offerings. After that, head towards pasir ris to rest, by then it would be three plus am. About five thirty, we would get ready, and replenish ourselves and prepare for a long journey back to the same place. Everyone will be very tired by then, however, we will still make it back without fail. Enjoyed it and those were the good times i enjoyed this year. This year i learnt many things and got many new items for myself. Most importantly, I lost alot of weight and gone past the bad times. Used to be eighty five kilograms, now my current weight stands at sixty five kilograms. I'm very determined and willing to make any sacrifices to maintain it.

As for my coming year ahead, I wish for nothing but blessings for everyone, my friends, family. New year come by, I'm growing older again, really wish I could remain younger always, really missed my younger days, seriously, so memorable, those were really the days. I my hope is to have a girl whom i really wish i could meet whoever she is, it's been really long I got into a relationship and I think I'm really mature now to settle for one. But I will leave it to fate, whats mine will be mine, so no rush. My dream is a simple one, experience my past again, be it childhood or those school days, I really desired to relie it once again, just for once, not too much, I would be satisfied. Last of all, everyone reading right now, have a great new year ahead, be blessed and happy always.

My next entry titled "My childhood" will debut next Monday 5th January.

"Christmas season" is a title of my entry this week. As christmas approaches, i hereby wish all my readers a merry christmas, and may all your dreams come true. To me, every christmas i spend since young, was memorable and sweet. Each hold a strong symbolic and meaningful to me. Silence, yet beautiful evening of the eve, the december wind blew strongly as ever, although i never seen snow in my life, however, I wished I could experience it if ever i got a chance, to simply celebrate a white christmas, I would just be contented.

When i was young, christmas was celebrated at home, just like another family gathering event, which would just naturally bring us together. Unlike traditional christmas celebration, food served on the dining table, would be different each year. Not the usual hot favourite, turkey and those honey baked hams. It would rather instead be fried finger foods, fried bee hoon specially stired-fried over and over again by my mum, that fragrances, even till today, unforgettable. Noisy and lively, toys will be the hottest topic of discussion for me with my cousins, comparison between each other, was like a mini war at that time. Perhaps, young was precious, innocence and just like another exciting day for me. I just could not describe, how much fun and how much i really enjoy gathering during christmas with my family. It's the sense of belonging, where you belong to this huge organisation structure, and not being left alone, and i mean never, they just care for you and shower as much love.

Those were the younger days, where i would just snatched a sit with my cousins, to see who got the best sit with the best food item around. But always ended up being scolded by my parents. After our delicious dinner, my parents, along with my other relatives, we would go to different places of attactions, to feel the atmosphere of christmas. Usually, would visit Orchard Road, where the usual crowd would be more than ever. To capture the most beautiful lighting sceneries in town. Snapping of pictures, to ensure that it will be remembered that we were once there as every christmas would be a historic and different one. Later, we would make our way towards the near-by Singapore River, and enjoy a ride on the traditional chinese boat, and view the beautiful sceneries of the night. Really wished, i was back there again, when i was younger, no need to worry so much like now.

Followed on, i grew older, and my christmas eves were all usually spend with my close group of friends. My family would then have their own celebration still on, however, my other cousins like me, rarely would even show face and like me, choose to stay out with friends and celebrate till late night. We would gather at a meeting point, which most probably is at Orchard Road. Then we would discuss for a place to settle for dinner, usually not very expensive, just some hawker fare meal, like our normal routines of meals. Talking over a common topic, drinking our cold drinks, as simple as it may seems, but this would be the just right christmas for us. Around later nights, we would head down the main of Orchard Road, and get some bottles of foam from those road side sellers. Preparing to have a big foam spraying party.

Once the countdown start, our hands are all well prepared and merry christmas!! Spraying of foams would be all over the place. Stamina don't seems to run out as fast than usual, we were just jumping, running and basically having fun with each other, nonetheless, even strangers whom we do not know. Such events like this, just bring the bonding, closeness and understandings between each other. I know very well that with them, i will never ever feel alone or outcast. Most importantly of all, the meeting up, it's something that we might not have time to fufill when we grow older, as everyone would have their own lives by then. How many times can one enjoy youth, it flies past us by surprise, by then it would only be too late as we can only look back and only wished that it would happened again.

This coming christmas, will still be celebrating, excitingly looking forward for it. Doing the usual stuffs again, but it's like once a year, so i really treasure and cherish this chance not to miss it no matter what. Finally, i would hope for a simple wish, friends around me whom I know, every single one of you, stay happy and healthy, thats all. As for my family, I love them and without them, I will never be here today writing, they are the most important assets of my life and no doubt i can't live without them, my wish is simple let this time I'm spending with them be eternity thats all. Christmas is not in tinsel and lights and outward show. The secrets lies in an inner glow. It's lightings a fire inside a heart. Good will and joy a vital part. It's higher thought and a greater plan. It's glorious dream in the soul of man.

My next entry is titled "New year, new hopes, new dreams" debut next Monday 29th December.

Debbie
Panzi
Pearline
Tracey
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